How to be 1% less depressed?

You feel the entire world is painted in blues and grays. Your playlist is comprised of gloomy songs. You feel sad but you don’t know the reason why you are feeling so. Sounds familiar? Well, I am also undergoing the same situation. There is no major issue in my life, still, I feel depressed.   Here are some techniques I am using to trick depression:

• Wear red– Red is the color of activity. Depression is the exposure to prolonged sadness due to stagnation. Depression lowers the self-esteem whereas wearing red boosts confidence.

 

• Say NO to unproductive highs– While it is easy to binge watch your favorite TV show as an excuse to beat your depression, it is only a temporary escape. Being depressed is not an excuse for being unproductive. I know some days, it is very difficult to get out of bed and face the world. It is very difficult to do anything other than drowning in your own tears. But remember, you cannot escape from life. Don’t do anything which you’ll regret later.

 

• Listen to instrumental music– While you may be tempted to listen to a popular song, the sad fact is that most songs lament on heart break or a loss of some kind which has a negative impact on our subconscious. I have switched to listening instrumental music and it is really very uplifting. Try listening to this amazing music: Beautiful music
• Be competitive: While it is said that you should only compete with yourself, a healthy competition is the best kick on your ass that can keep you going.

• Read love stories: The idea that someone, somewhere is made only for you can instill hope into the most gloomy hearts. Reading love story fills us with an unknown joy. Whenever I am depressed, I read novels by writers like Nicholas Sparks and Cecelia Ahern.
• Learn a new skill- Don’t let depression be a halting point in the journey of your life. Learn a new skill. This will prove that you are bigger than your depression and has the power to make it the most productive period of your life.
• Watch animated movies- Remember the animated movies that you watched back in your childhood. They were as pristine as the purest of dreams. Relive the innocence and cuteness of your childhood through these movies.

 

What are your tips to be 1% less depressed? Please share in the comments.

Anti-Good Syndrome

With the passage of time, things change and our conceptions and interpretations about everything around us also change. The definition of the word which is changed in the last century is the word ‘Good’. We want to be known as beautiful, intelligent, successful, but do we really want to be known as good?

We can blame the popular culture which has made the word ‘good’ synonymous with ‘boring’ and no one wants to be boring. It has been established that being a ‘good girl’ or a ‘nice guy’ is a sure shot way to lag behind in the race of life. People believe that they will just be a doormat at their workplace if you are good and as a result of YA novels, teenagers are made to believe that everyone wants to date a mysterious bad boy or girl not an understanding person who cares. But is it really true? Has the ‘goodness’ of a person really become an outdated fashion? Let’s check it.

Let’s take an example. We all have listened in our childhood the story of a revolutionary who rebels against the tyrant king to save the people of his land from oppression and suffering. In almost every country of the world, such revolutionaries are the national heroes and people take their name with reverence. But what about the tyrant king? Do we even know the name of the king who despite being powerful did not understand the meaning of goodness?

We can look at artists, writers, singers and the persons who inspired the people to see the hidden beauty and goodness in their lives. Centuries have passed but the works of such artists are still immortal in our hearts. But do we remember the successful and wealthy businessmen of that era?

Power is a fleeting glamour which dazzles the eyes of the world whereas goodness is the inherent beauty which never fades with time. So the decision is yours- Whether you want to be temporarily powerful and momentarily interesting or you want to be good forever?

The Problem with Law of Attraction

Law of Attraction has become the buzzword after the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne was published. A large number of people would claim its effectiveness, saying that it is the ultimate truth. But the GhostOfLife has a different view about it.

According to it: Whatever we think, becomes our reality. But don’t you think what a burden it creates on our monkey mind. We are already confused and conflicted; and add to it, the enormous burden of Law of Attraction. It forces us to scrutinize our each thought. We begin judging and criticizing ourselves for each negative thought. We forget that we are simple humans; we are not god. It is alright if we think something negative; it is natural. There is nothing wrong about it.

So forget about Law of Attraction. This is life. It will always surprise you. There is a thing called destiny and we are not responsible for every good and bad thing that happens to us. If the Law of Attraction was the ultimate truth, then all the self-help gurus would have become the happiest persons in the world but it is not truth.

So enjoy life as it comes!

Happy Women’s Day

Here comes another trending ‘W Day’ after the ‘V Day’. But what is all this buzz about? Here is what your ghost of life thinks about the ‘Women’s Day’.

Common myths about Women’s day-

 

• Women who are successful in career are role models

But what about those women who had forsaken their careers for their children? Should they be considered weaker than the working women? It is the woman’s choice whether she wants a bright career or nurtures her family. While it is still unfortunate that women had to choose between the two, but until the world becomes utopian, what right does the society have to judge housewives? I am a working woman myself but I don’t think housewives are less than us in any aspect.

• The Cinderella Syndrome

First of all, hats off to Ms. J.K. Rowling for pairing genius Hermione Granger with so-called ‘sidekick’ Ron Weasely instead of the ‘chosen one’ Harry Potter. If we women are so great, why do we need a Prince Charming to rescue us. If a Prince Charming can marry Cinderella, why can’t Hermione fall in love with Ron Weasely instead of Harry Potter?

• Falling in Love is not a weakness

Numerous people have bashed Bella for being so much in love with Edward. While I don’t like the Twilight Series, but does being in love with Edward makes Bella a weak person. I don’t think that choosing love over ambition or vice-versa defines the strength of a woman.

• Stop idolizing women

  Look at most of the TV shows and books, the main protagonist is strong, willing to do anything for her family, confident, talented and hard-working. But if a woman is envious, why is stereotyped as a ‘vamp’ or can’t an envious, flawed woman be talented? Why do we even have the concept of a perfect ‘woman’ with the ‘heart of gold’?

 

• We don’t need to judge how empowered are women by the length of their clothes or their success and goodness. We are women, we are humans, with the same goodness and bad things a human has. Accept that!

Self-hate

By Ghost of Life

Self-hate? It feels strange to write about self-hate in a blog for teenagers. After all, everyone expects teenagers to love life where they go to parties, have their perfect partners and have lots and lots of opportunity. But perception and reality seldom agree with each other.

Now the biggest reason of self-hate is LAW OF ATTRACTION. Yes, you have read it right. It is the law of attraction which causes self-hate. How? Let me show you:

According to the gurus of law of attraction,

• The world is a mirror of yourself
• You attract the things similar to you.
• If bad things are happening to you, it’s because your thought process is faulty.

Now, LOA has become a buzzword among new agers. But don’t you think that it brings immense pressure on yourself with thinking patterns like:

• If I can’t get a good enough job, I am not capable enough.

TRUTH- You must work to enhance the skill-set required for job, but it does not mean that you alone are responsible for your situation. Maybe the industry in which you are trying to find a job has economic crisis and has decided not to hire more manpower.

• If he/she ditched me, I am not good enough.

Maybe you should go for a makeover but there is a possibility that the person who ditched you was a playboy or he did not consider himself good enough to deserve you.

• You attract good/bad things in your life by thinking.

For eleven long years, I thought of being admitted into Hogwarts School of Magic but no admission letter came :(. I agree that our thoughts are powerful but they are not so powerful to change your world. We are humans. It’s natural to feel fear, hate, jealousy, and greed but it does not mean that it would bring bad luck to us and we should hate ourselves. Whenever you consider yourself responsible for any bad thing, just consider this saying:

The chess-board is the world, the pieces are the phenomena of the universe, the rules of the game are what we call the laws of Nature. The player on the other side is hidden from us.

Love?

By Ghost of Life

Love- the word which fills every teenager with hope, the word which could be the only reason to survive for a middle-aged woman, love whose sweet memories give the courage to overcome the hardships of old age. It is said that love can make the world go round and it is the solution to each problem in the world. But is this the truth?

I personally think that love is overrated. It is not the God of all emotions. Each emotion be it love, kindness, hate, jealousy, fear, courage has its own importance. But we humans have a bad habit of classifying and ranking everything in the universe. But we don’t need to categorize everything. Emotions are just like colors; just as there is no good color or bad color, there is no good emotion or bad emotion.

Now, why is love so glorified in popular culture? And why does the love between a girl and a boy given so much importance. Whether we accept it or not, humans are animals, though we can say that we are a more advanced version of animals. If you look at a pride of lions, there are many lionesses in a pride which is usually headed by a male lion. These lionesses are bound to that head lion by an unwritten oath of loyalty. So the male lion can even eat its own cubs and attack the lionesses who try to protect their cubs out of motherly instinct, but it is also bound by an oath to protect the lionesses and its cubs from any other lion outside the pride.

As humans evolved, there was a group of persons usually headed by a male person. All the women were bound to be loyal to him under the name of relations like sister, wife and daughter. But where there are rules, there is rebellion. When the loyalty of a female member of the group like sister or daughter shifted from its head to a head/member of another group, the male authoritative figure resisted. The head of another group considered this as a way to establish his power over the first group and helped the girl who wanted to rebel against the conventions. And this became the foundation for the so-called epic love stories.

Then, one can argue, how do you explain the love between persons who are already together. This so-called love acts as an excuse to resist the true desires of heart. It acts as an aid to be satisfied in current life without hoping for any change.

I am not saying that love does not exist, but so do other emotionsWe need to acknowledge each and every emotion with an open heart. I would like  to end this article with a poem:

They say that
      Love is god
      Finding love is so hard
They also say
      Love is the ultimate truth
      But it is all a myth

Love is not the greatest one
It is just one color in the rainbow of emotions resplendent in front of life’s sun

Neither love is hero
    Nor hate a villain
They are all dissolved
    in heart’s rain

So don’t sacrifice your pearl-like tears like a mourning dove
Where there is hate you will surely find love

Should I end it now?

Life is like a circle; what seems like the end may actually be the beginning

“Should I end it now?” Contrary to the fun-loving, adventurous image of teenagers which is portrayed by the popular culture, a lot of teenagers are haunted by the question “Should I end it now?” and believe me, there is no Theodore Finch or Augustus Waters to save them.

I won’t bore you with crap like Only cowards do suicide because I know no one else can determine the depth of pain held by a heart except the aching heart itself. What you will find are some harsh truths as your life ghost feels.

• Approximately 97% of attempted suicides fail, that means if you could try 100 times, you could succeed only 3 times if you believe in Maths. And trust me, no one could tolerate the humiliation of people whispering to each other pointing at you,”She is the girl who tried to take her own life.”
• No one would give a damn if you simply disappear. However important you think you are in the lives of your near and dear ones, they would get used to their absence with time. So if you are trying to kill yourself in order to make someone realise your worth, I am sorry to say, but this a stupid idea.
• I don’t know how many of you have read the book ‘Brida’ by Paulo Coelho but there was a term used in it ‘Dark Night of the Soul’. If you consider this period of your life as the darkest, then you have nothing to lose by carrying on with your life just like Sia says in Titanium “I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose “. You can’t  fall downwards because this is the nadir of your life from where you can only rise up.

And if everything else fails, look at nature. The beautiful deer which has no career, no dream to realise runs like a lightning when a lion chases it. It has nothing to look forward to the next day. The next day, it could again be chased by a lion but it does not prevent it from tasting the water from the serene lake; the fear does not prevent it from playing under the benevolent sun.

• There are many examples when people tasted success after bearing their greatest loss. One overused but perfect example for this is J.K Rowling. Emily Bronte wrote her classic ‘Wuthering Heights ‘ after seeing his alcoholic brother ruining his life on which she had based the character ‘Hindley’.

So live life even if you don’t love it now because love is unpredictable and you never know when you would end up loving your life.